Marriage and the Family NOTES ch 9
In all known societies there is a certain number of relatives that make up the basic social group we call the family.
This does NOT mean that all societies view or define family in the same way
Average N. American family = mom, dad, kids
- African herdsman family = possibly hundreds of members related by blood and marriage
Hopi family = woman, her husband, their unmarried sons and daughters, married daughters and their husbands and their children
Definitions:
Family – a social unit characterized by economic cooperation, management of reproduction and childrearing, common residence. This may include male and female adults who maintain a socially approved sexual relationship. Family members adults and children recognize certain rights and obligations toward one another.
Marriage – is a series of customs formalizing the relationship between male and female adults within the family. Marriage is a socially approved union between a man and a woman, or two adults, that regulates the sexual and economic rights between them. Marriage usually involves an explicit contract or understanding and is entered into with the assumption that it will be permanent.
This definition of marriage is generally applicable – and discusses the formal relationship, approved by society, between a man and a woman but precludes same gender marriages which are also recognized in many societies around the world.
Examples:
A married woman may take an additional wife to help with domestic duties while she is at work in West African cultures.
In Kenya, in Nandi society a woman can marry a female husband when the bride’s father has only daughters and no male heirs. The female husband arranges a male consort for the bride to conceive children for the bride.
The Northern Cheyenne warriors often took transvestite males (berdaches) as second wives
Same gender marriage is becoming more common in many Western countries, and is protected under law equally with heterosexual marriages. In the US 17 states have legally protected same gender marriage, and the Supreme Court recently held that those unions must be given equal treatment with heterosexual marriages in terms of legal rights and benefits.
The American Anthropological Association weighed in in 2004 with this statement:
The result of more than a century of anthropological research on households, kinship relationships and families across cultures and through time provide no support whatsoever for the view that either civilization or viable social orders depend upon marriage as an exclusively heterosexual institution. Rather, anthropological research supports the conclusion that a vast array of family types, including families built upon same-sex partnerships, can contribute to stable and humane societies. (www.aaanet.org)
Sexual Union
There may be specific periods in the term of a marriage where society believes that sexual relations with a spouse are taboo.
Examples: during menstruation or pregnancy
Post partum sex taboos – for a period after childbirth
Special occasion taboos – before a hunt, before and after a war expedition, during harvest of crops, various religious events of significance
Permanence
A second qualification to our definition involves the permanence of the marital union. Here it is well to remember the concept of Real vs. ideal behavior – most Western vows include “‘til death do us part”
Yet divorce is widely practiced, and accepted.
Hard to ascertain the intentions of people who marry but the statistic is that one in every two marriages in the US end in divorce
Not the only culture with this impermanence for marriage – in Navajo culture a woman sends her husband away by placing his boots and saddle outside the door of her home. The man is then free to take a new wife, and the woman is free to take a new husband.
Serial monogamy – many spouses but only one at a time
Common Residence
This is part of our definition too – yet the definition of “common residence” will also vary. It may or may not mean living under the same roof.
- Boarding schools for children
- Spouses who work in different cities and see each other on weekends only
- Cultures where a woman and her children will live in one house and the husband may visit but not live in that house permanently – instead living in a mens’ house nearby.
- Cultures where adolescent males may live together apart from their families in separate dwellings or in some cases in separate village
All of this defining is a way to try to arrive at a kind of universal description of pair bonding of humans. Sometimes you just can’t put a culture into the conventional equation
Example: Nayar of southern India do not have a “conventional” marriage pattern.
Pubescent Nayar girls take a ceremonial husband in a public ceremony, who then has no further role or expectation of involvement in that girl’s life. In fact he may never see her again. The bride returns to her mother’s home and continues to live with her mother, mom’s sisters and brothers. She will be visited over the years by various husbands and any children that are conceived remain the responsibility of the woman’s family alone. This “marriage” form has no economic cooperation, regulation of sexual activity, cohabitation or expectation of permanency.
Marriage and the Family: Functions
The function of creating families through marriage serves societies
- Creates fair stable relationships between men and women that regulate mating and reproduction (continuous fertility makes these stable unions desirable to minimize disruption of the community)
- Regulates the sexual division of labor in some societies – allows exchange of goods and services between men and women through their domestic relationships
- Creates a set of family relationships that can provide for the material, educational and emotional needs of children.
Mate Selection – Who is out of bounds?
Most common prohibition – the incest taboo, meaning sexual relations with certain categories of kin, usually the nuclear family. Not the same as a marriage restriction, although they may produce the same result they do not always coincide with one another.
The nuclear family taboo is the most common – although for political reasons the ancient Egyptians, the Incas and Hawaiian royalty did mate with and marry siblings – but the practice was limited and not found in the rest of the population
In the US first cousin marriage is prohibited in some states, but allowed in some states if the cousins are of a certain age or no longer fertile.
In some societies marriage with a parallel cousin may be considered incestuous where marriage with a cross cousin may be encouraged.
Incest taboos are found in every human culture – anthropologists have several theories as to why:
Natural aversion theory:
Familiarity breeds contempt – the idea that those who have grown up together may not find one another sexually attractive – not a genetic but a social phenomenon.
Kibbutz kids – sexual attraction between these kids is found to be extremely rare because “they grew up together” according to the study subjects
Taiwanese practice of raising kids to be married together – high rate of divorce and infidelity in the culture
Rules of Exogamy –
Cannot marry within a certain range of kin – US first cousin marriage
Unilineal kinship groups – may prohibit one side of the family or the other,
Navajo kin groups – may be considered too closely related to marry
Rules of Endogamy –
Cross and parallel cousin marriage for kin
But also religious, ethnic, class, caste distinctions may be maintained by intermarriage practices – pressure to marry your “own kind”
Arranged marriages –
Marriage is so important as an alliance of families in some cultures that families select a mate for their children that will also benefit their kin group
Some arranged marriages are settled while the spouses to be are still children, – common in Japan, India and China in the past. or even before they are born The Tiwi of N. Australia – where all women are married, as soon as a woman is pregnant to ward off evil spirits from impregnating her child.
Arranged marriage occurs in societies with elaborate social hierarchies –
Hindu India eg.
Considered too important to be left to the spouses, if it is poorly done it ruins the lives of the spouses and the reputation of the family as well, and may diminish the chances of the other children of the family to make alliances for marriage.
Matchmaking has expanded because of internet sites, not just EHarmony or JDate but services that are much more specific as to racial or gender preferences, lifestyle issues (vegetarians, HOG members, Yoga practitioners) and even political views. Lack of time to meet people in conventional ways, depend on these connections to explore possible mate choices.
Levirate and Sororate –
Levirate – the widow will marry the brother or close male relative of late husband – preserves property and keeps kids with kin group, preserving the family line. Takes care of family – Oceania, Asia, Africa and India.
The Sororate – widower’s wife’s family is generally obligated to replace the wife with a sister or other close family female to replace a dead wife.
NUMBER OF SPOUSES
Monogamy – one spouse at a time –
- but serial monogamists…..many spouses over a lifetime
Polygyny – 70% of the world’s societies permit and prefer this practice (many small scale societies – not the population, the societies….)
Traditionally in India and China – still practiced in Asia, Africa and the Middle East. Some biblical references to polygyny in the Old Testment
Westerners view – polygyny as a sex-based practice
Not really – multiple wives is a lot of work and takes management skills to get right. While preferred in many cultures this is reserved for the social elites – only a limited number of men will attain with the support of their families
And it is hardly ever the USUAL practice.
In fact among the Zulu of South Africa men tend to opt for monogamy over polygyny — because of western influences, or no inclination or family power base or social skills to achieve high status and become a polygynist.
There tends to be a higher rate of Polygyny in societies where women are considered an economic asset (women do most of the work) as opposed to liabilities (men do most of the work) eg Sub-saharan Africa where the rate of Polygynous marriage ranges from 25% to 43% (1959)– high level of women in commercial activities, to 5% among the Inuit where few men can afford the luxury of a second wife (1936)
Other factors – overabundance of women due to war, women captured or males lost, or a society of male infanticide
Numerically Polygyny works because in these societies women tend to marry quite early and begin having children while men will postpone marriage until later. W 14 while men wait until 26 or later
Social advantages of Polygyny –
Where polygyny is limited to royalty, aristocrats and elites, it is a sign of status and prestige for the men, their wives and their children – so wives may encourage a husband to take on additional wives for the household….. sometimes it is limited by age, older men may be allowed to take on more wives. It will assure allegiances between the families – King Sobhuza of Swaziland had hundreds of wives, one from every family in the country to assure his power and place as their leader since every family would owe him loyalty and support as one of their own.
Multiple wives may allow for an increase in economic or political assets – in the South Pacific where pigs are valued as an indicator of status more wives may allow for a bigger garden to raise more food for pigs, and more pigs, both of which will increase status in some Polynesian societies.
Some anthropological studies indicate that women in this arrangement tend to favor it. Most enthusiastic were men in polygynous societies. Younger, more educated women tended to prefer other (or no) marital arrangements.
Problems with Polygyny
Competition among wives –
Problem number one – jealousy among wives (no kidding)
(In some African societies the word for co-wife is derived from the world for jealousy)
attention, sexual favors, and household resources are all sources of jealousy. Unequal distribution of gifts, money, the number of children born and died, whose children are educated all are points of contention. A woman who becomes barren or whose children die may in some societies believe it to be witchcraft on the part of one of their co-wives and may retaliate.
How to combat jealousy?
Give present wives a say in selecting the new wives
Marry sisters (sororal polygyny)
Give each wife separate living quarters – especially kitchens, and personal space – women are less likely to share these well
Make rights and obligations of each wife clear and well-known
Establish a hierarchy among the wives – senior wives have authority over junior wives, and resolve issues between them
US polygyny – present but considered benign for the most part. Not prosecuted unless other issues beyond multiple marriage are present. Some are based on religion (Church of Latter Day Saints) other just prefer it. Estimates are approx. 30,000 practice this in the US today.
Polyandry
Marriage to two or more men at a time. Found in less than 1 percent of societies of the world. Tibet, Nepal and India. Can be fraternal or nonfraternal.
Toda of Southern India – traditional shortage of women in the society because of the practice of female infanticide – less now, and less polyandry
Economic reasons for polyandry –
Senior husbands in Marquesas Islands may add a junior husband to help with managing multiple wives and the strain of a large household.
Tibetan serfs may practice polyandry to combat a shortage of land. With one household assets are not divided between sons. Giving land to the eldest would create many landless men, dividing it between males would fragment family assets. Fraternal polyandry maintains a steady ratio of land to people.
Economic considerations of Marriage:
Most societies see marriage as a binding contract between bride and groom and their respective families – often involving an exchange or a payment of economic consideration – before, after, during the wedding.
Four kinds:
Bridewealth
Bride service
Dowry
Reciprocal exchange
Bridewealth – groom to bride’s family. (46% of societies) all over the world but Africa 82% of societies, with the other 18% requiring bride service (service in lieu of payment) or token bridewealth exchange.
What is paid is usually whatever is valued in the society.
Horses by the Cheyenne
Sheep by the Navajo
Cattle by the Maasi, Samburu, Nuer of eastern Africa
Blankets – Kwakiutl
Pigs – Alor
Mats – Fiji
Spears – Somali
Loincloths – Toda
Bird of Paradise plumes – Siane
The more that changes hands the more pressure on the couple to make the marriage work since the economic stakes are so high. And large exchanges allow for more flexibility, and are more cordial. Where the exchange is small every item counts and negotiations can be contentious.
The Kipsigis of western Kenya view plump girls who mature early are seen as more valuable because they are believed to have greater reproductive success and children are highly valued – they will fetch a higher bridewealth
Women who have previously given birth, will fetch less.
Women whose natal homes are far away from their marital homes have a higher bridewealth because they won’t be available to help their mothers household.
Early Christian missionaries thought bridewealth was a form of purchase and denigrated women. Early colonial administrators saw it as indication that women were lower status in traditional societies. Anthropologists viewed it as a rational and comprehensible part of traditional marriage as seen in the cultural context.
Provides insurance of good treatment of the wife, a way to stabilize the marriage by preventing divorce, a way to compensate the wife’s family for the loss of her labor, a symbol of the union of two groups of kin, a way to legitimize the marriage and the transference of children from the wife’s to the husband’s family.
Monetization of bridewealth – recently. The demand for cash may cause men to delay marriage, no longer distributed among a family group, making marriage a commercial transaction. Undermining the traditional stable marriages, increasing divorce and changing husband/wife roles within the family,
IN Kuwait for example: average cost for a wedding is $66,000 for a groom and his family to cover the bridewealth exchange, the wedding, honeymoon and furnishings for the new home. Creative ways to lessen the costs include group weddings (conducteded by voluntary religious organizations). One for 28 couples was held with contributed flowers, gowns, makeovers for the brides, and gifts of small electric appliances for the couple. Hotels provided a hall for the collective reception, dinners for guests and a wedding night suite for the newlyweds. Even trips to Mecca (rather than honeymoons) were contributed by charitable agencies. Kuwaiti society recognizes the high cost of marriage and is working to give help to young men who could not afford to marry otherwise.
Education level nor long-standing urban residence does not seem to diminish enthusiasm for the practice of bridewealth. In South Africa university student interviews found 84% of men, 90% of women supported the idea of bridewealth – claiming it heightened women’s dignity, increased husband’s gratitude and decreases the divorce rate.
Dowry – bride’s family to groom’s
Some cases to the groom, some cases to the father of the groom, who would bequeath land to the couple, and allowing for dowry for the groom’s sisters
Practiced in less than 3% of world societies – Eurasia, medieval Europe and north India. Usually something that the bride brings with her to the marriage. – and in the case of divorce it would leave with her. Stabilizes marriages in order to prevent forfeiture of the dowry goods.
The American Robber Barons and their daughters bailed the English aristocracy out in the early 20th century through the practice of dowries brought to marry their girls into high status titled British families.
In Tanzanian pastoral societies, cattle may be given to the groom’s family to be kept in trust for the bride’s sons. As a patrilocal society the cattle must be kept with the husband’s family. The husband has nominal control over the animals but must ask his wife’s permission to dispose of the cattle. The situation causes friction between the couple and will give the wife considerable economic leverage in her marital relations.
Reciprocal exchange – demonstrates the union of families – roughly equal. Found in the Pacific and among traditional Native Americans – supports the idea that it’s a union between families not just the couple getting hitched.
Divorce – some form is present in all societies. Divorce practices vary by culture and depend on the reasons for the break up.
As a general rule divorce rates are lower in societies that have strong kinship groups that control offspring through large brideswealth payments which represent compensation for a woman’s limited procreative power. The larger the bridewealth payment the more complete the transfer of children from the bride’s lineage to the groom’s lineage. If the marriage is dissolved the bridewealth must be returned, and proves problematic if it has been distributed to the bride’s relatives.
Among foraging cultures divorce is a fairly simple affair. Lacking large formal social groups, and being largely nomadic foraging cultures have limited or nonexistent marriage payments.
IN industrialized societies divorce has become more common over the past hundred years and are handled through legal procedures. In the US alone there was an 10x increase of divorce between 1890 and 1990. The highest rates were between 1950 and 1980 and have since leveled off and even receded slightly since then.
When the basic unit of production went from family to factory the economic ties holding the family together weakened. Public education made the education of kids no longer a direct family responsibility. Increased disposable income combined with opportunities for entertainment and recreation meant that families were not so dependent on themselves for leisure activities and the focus shifted away from family to individually appealing activity. Romantic love as a basis for marriage leaves the relationship vulnerable when passion subsides and the decreased stigma around divorce has meant that people are not as reluctant, or as burdened by the process of ending a marriage – no longer any need to prove abuse or infidelity, it is enough only to have the couple agree there are “irreconcilable differences”, or that the marriage has ‘failed’ — In the US it’s easier to walk away from a marriage than a commitment to buy a new car – Etzioni 1993.
Where do people live after marriage?
Residence patterns:
Patrilocal 69%
Matrilocal 13%
Avunculocal 4%
Ambilocal 9%
Neolocal 5%
Linked to Kinship systems. The patterns may be interrupted by personal preference, war, migration, famines, epidemics or economic upheaval (the Dust Bowl of the 1930’s caused relocation of many families, and necessity made young couples move in with relatives when they would otherwise have lived independently – many factors may disrupt regular cultural practices).
Types of families:
Nuclear family – Mom, Dad, kids. A two generation family formed around the conjugal or marital union. An autonomous and independent unit that may have ties to a larger kin network. Economic support, child care, and social interaction are all done within the nuclear family unit than by a larger set of relatives.
Nuclear families live apart from both sets of the couple’s parents, and are obligated to care for neither in the nuclear family home. Parents do not select mates for their children, and have no control around childrens’ marriages.
Nuclear families occur most often in societies with great geographic mobility. Location of the family may depend on societal situations (available employment) more than cultural practices.
Nuclear families are most often found at the ends of the technological spectrum – foraging societies where resources are scarce move frequently according to availability of food. The nuclear family remains independent and self-sufficient within the foraging culture.
According to recent census data one in four households consists of a nuclear family in the US. The others are couples without children, unmarried couples, roommates, single adults, single parents, extended family members or adult siblings. Why? Women are delaying childbearing, the cost of maintaining a household with children and personal preference has led many to remain childless, the increasing divorce rate in the US has lead to more nonnuclear families in recent decades.
The Extended family – more than two generations in a single household linked by blood ties. Most likely parents living with married children in a single household. Most often based on parent – child links. Of 862 societies studied in the 20th century 46% have some kind of extended family organization.
Within these societies the family is a continuous unit with the elders dying off and being replaced by new births. The new spouse is brought into a family and may face the problem of restrictions that attempt to preserve the original family’s control and loyalty in the newlywed member, restricting access or communication with the new spouse.
Extended families are most common in societies with agricultural economies. This may relate to a need for more labor for success. Or it may relate to the need to preserve the family land as a single unit rather than dividing it up and fragmenting family resources.
Modern Day Family Structure – varies, especially in Western societies.
Nuclearization is happening in mobile populations and urban and industrial societies. But in developing countries, and industrialized countries you may see extended families in areas coping with poverty and low employment.
Since 1970 in the US there has been a move away from the typical nuclear family, with a rise in non-family households, see the most recent statistics here: http://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-14.pdf